Home Again

Well, we made it home, and I certainly felt all of your prayers as we did it.  Bo walked in the door and immediately went to "work."   This is what he does constantly.  He grabs his tool box and usually his fire hat and sets off hammering things or "fixing" things.  The child's work ethic rivals my daddy's.  He does it for HOURS.  Tonight he told me "I'm going to work.  And Whittie can come with me and Webbie....." he paused and literally got the saddest look on his face..."Webbie can't come, can he?"  "No sweetheart," I answered, tears running down my face.  Why does this three year old have to deal with this?  Why will Whit never know his twin brother?  Why did this happen to us??  In the past three weeks, I've done a lot of "Why asking."  I can't understand how there are people who abuse their children or don't want them and yet have them until they die.  I don't know why there are people who are not nice, who lie, cheat and steal, and yet get the privilege of having healthy children who outlive them.  Zac and I aren't perfect but we LOVE our kids, we love each other, we are GOOD people...why us??   I suppose we may never know the answers to those rhetorical sounding questions.  But in one of the books I am reading about grief, I found three small nuggets of peace for all my why asking:

1.  Jesus does not promise if we lead a good life only good things will happen

2.  God does not pick favorites and allow life to "work out" for those people

3.  God is not evil and did not take Webb to hurt us.  He knows what it is like to lose a son; therefore, he knows EXACTLY how we feel and grieves WITH us.

Whoa.  That's a lot to absorb in one night, but what wonderful, practical thoughts.  That does not mean I will quit my why asking.  It also doesn't mean I won't still question why Webb had to die and why this tragedy befell on MY family and be angry for it.  But it's certainly a start in the right direction.  And right now, that's all we can ask for.